The power of expression

Those of you who know me well, know that I advocate strongly for many causes.

When everything goes smoothly, my voice and thoughts flow, my breathing is in tune, my nose is clear and I am understood.  

I must make sure that, my image is at its best at all times. If my pants or hat are not straight, seatbelt or foot straps are showing, the battle to keep my disability from completely taking over is that much more difficult.

Holding my head straight is an aspect of my life that I really must work on.  If my head is crocket, the biggest thing that happens, is my Cerebral Palsy, takes over the conversation and my appearance is seen negatively.

Also, sometimes stuff comes out of my mouth and on to my chin.  Out of everything that I deal with, this bothers me most.  I am the only one that can deal with this issue. Having stuff on my face, can really hold me back from society seeing the true me.

Trying not to say 50 words in one breath is very important.  If I do not talk in a measured, calm tone, the words coming out of my mouth are nothing more than noise and wind.  I have to breathe slowly and just let everything flow. Sitting up straight and keeping my hands down, is key to clear speech.

With me putting weight on very easily, it is a must that I stay in shape best I can.  If I don’t, it makes it harder to breathe and this really affects my speech.  A lot of energy and effort is needed for me to get my point across. If I am heavier, I get tired that much faster.  Speaking and furthermore speaking well, can drain me both physically and mentally. 

There are plenty of days, when nothing goes according to plan and I am not understood. When this takes place, I ask is that you have some patience I’ll repeat myself, spell it out, or find some other way to get my words out. I am okay, just trying to get my words out to the best of my ability. The worst thing a person can do, is give me that fake smile and pretend to know what I am saying.  It’s always an awkward situation, when I am having a virtual or an in-person conversation.  I finish a sentence and the other person does not say anything because they have not understood what I have said and do not know that my point is complete. Why not ask me to repeat, please? It’s a lot better than silence, a stare and a smile to go along with a head nod. Whatever you do, don’t ask the person with me “What did he say?”

Speaking is not as easy as it used to be. The main factor being that, due to my lack of care, I cannot have a drink, snack or a soothing candy whenever I want. When I have one of these three things, my voice is clear and strong.

My passion for speaking and opening societies eyes, has only grown stronger   It is all worth because over the years, my ideas and voice are starting to get recognized and appreciated. It’s my hope that one day my words and thoughts, will lead to me living a much more normal life.